Aardvark Art Glass

a year for change
February 27, 2010, 7:49 pm
Filed under: Bloggidy Blog

I had a nice lady come into the land store and buy the Octopus Trying to Open a Jar With a Testicle in it Bead. I’m not kidding! That shored up my will to live so much that I almost forgot about a contest I had planned (the purpose of which was to shore up my will to live until Spring arrives.) So I’m double-shoring now.

See, I’ve got this old coat:

It’s probably 5 years old at least. The lining is getting all ripped up from me stretching it over too many layers. But it’s a nice coat-2/3rds length, covers my ass, which is a nice function for a coat to have in the blustery cold. Anyway, the other day I noticed that while I can hear change moving around nearby,  I can’t find any in my pockets. That’s because Iv’e got a hole in my right pocket and the coins are falling into the liner. I have no idea how long this has been going on. I must have noticed this initially a month ago and then noticed it anew every day for about 30 days.  That’s when the coat started getting heavy and I could feel a fair amount of change bouncing against the back of my legs when I walked.

I was going to cut the liner, empty it out and sew up the pocket but then I thought, why not leave the change hole  in the pocket until the first day of Spring? That way instead of just looking forward to warmer weather, I could look forward to warmer weather, a lighter coat and probably enough change to buy a bottle of liquor.  BUT then I thought, why not make this a blog contest where you guys predict how much change is going to end up in the liner of my coat on March 21, the first day of Spring? That way I could have my light weight coat,  liquor and unload some of these freaky beads I’ve got sitting around.

I don’t know how I could cram more positive events into a singular contest. I feel more interested in life already.

Here’s about me: I’m not a change spender–even before it fell out of reach. I never went digging for $.22 when I was in line at the grocery store and I’m not going to start doing that now. I’m just going to go about my business and not artificially increase or decrease the amount of change I normally put in my pocket. Since I forget things so quickly this will be easy for me. (What hole? Why is my coat so heavy?)

On March 21 I will digitally document the process of opening my coat liner and the counting of the change within. Whoever’s prediction in Earth dollars is closest to the actual amount will win. I’ll post some pics of the beads I think you need later. I’m not trusting you to pick the right ones. They may or may not be sellable in my opinion, but they will be weird…and free. It will be worth your while to enter…unless your while is just SO valuable.

What you need to do is make a prediction about the amount of change that’s going to end up in my coat liner on March 21 and leave it in the comment area of this post. Do it now before the post gets buried and you forget. Be sure you’re not entering the same amount as someone else, enter just once and no, you can’t change your guess. If you have a website link it to your name. That makes it easier for me to tell who’s who. I don’t know when I’ll close the contest. It may go ’til March 20 but, things could happen to make it end earlier. Like, it could get warm. But even if it did get warm and I stopped wearing the coat there’s still a bunch of change in it now. Maybe that’s not such a good example. I don’t know if anyone is going to do this. You should though–it will give you something to which you can look forward.


Night of the…WTF?
February 26, 2010, 3:45 pm
Filed under: Bloggidy Blog

I made an octopus with “Love/Hate” tentacles sitting on a bible because I think  Robert Mitchum’s performance as the psychotic preacher in “Night of the Hunter” deserves an homage. That’s a great movie.  I am especially enamored with the part when he makes his tattooed hands wrestle each other. Who will win-love or hate? I’m not going to tell you. You’ll have to see the movie. Especially that part.

Here’s a picture of Bob Mitchum from the movie:

I guess my hat is out of proportion-or maybe it’s Mitchum’s head. Perhaps it’s the octopodes’ head. Say, did you know that in 1939 Mitchum appeared in a play called “Dear Octopus”? I just found that out two seconds ago. Now you know as much about Robert Mitchum’s relationship to the octopus as I do.

stuff from Tucson
February 23, 2010, 3:45 pm
Filed under: Bloggidy Blog

My long National nightmare of fundraising for the hedgehogs is almost over. That went well, and quickly. Only one pair of hogs left in the store. They’re yours if you want them.

Getting back to things, I wanted to show you an octopus I bought at the Best Bead  Show in Tucson. It was hard to pick just one octopus because there were so many there. Octopodes are as ubiquitous as frogs. That surprised me. None of them were opening jars though-most were just standing around.

That’s a Ben Burton octopus. Ben is a talented guy who works in boro (hard glass) and has spent time with real octopi. Not listening to their problems or anything, just observing them. He lived in Hawaii so they were around. Looking at real cephalopods has to contribute to the success of your product. That’s probably why mine look like Dr. Zoidberg.

Another item I picked up was this bug by Wesley Fleming. I am so apeshit about his work.

If you ever turn over one of his bugs, and I hope you do, you will see the segmented underbelly and the tiny, tiny mandibles.  Everything is there.  It’s pretty fucking incredible. This is a made-up bug, with the green and orange shell. He makes real ones, too. Soft glass and a Phantom torch. How? No one knows.

Green and orange bug is in the store if you want to come and visit it. I won’t let you touch it though, you have to get your own for that.  And if you want a bug, Wesley’s got a show at the Racine Art Museum starting in June. That’s going to be a bug loving frenzy there. You should go to it when Catherine Chalmers is showing too. She’s kind of zany with the posed cockroaches and the bugs eating each other. I saw her on EGG: The Arts Show a few years ago. Never forgot about her. That’s going to be a great show.

I cannot stop laughing about this
February 17, 2010, 9:03 pm
Filed under: Bloggidy Blog

Today I had to Google image “testicles” for an octopus bead project involving Hitler’s missing nut. I didn’t want to do it but I had to confirm color and…I don’t know…tubes or whatever else is there. Anyway, this little picture popped up and it kind of derailed things because I had to laugh at it for a long time and email it to people. And I know losing one’s testicles is not a laughing matter but, that dog looks so bummed out. Man. Just thought I’d share.

We’re all here now
February 12, 2010, 10:06 pm
Filed under: Bloggidy Blog

Know what makes Madison different from Phoenix? Phoenix’s phone book has three pages of bee removal listings. Also, they have light rail and we don’t. They really need it too because stuff isn’t stacked up out there like it is here. We did get a chunk of money for light rail recently, but Madison’s been talking about rail since forever so I’ll believe we’re getting it when it’s here. So, more bees but really good public transportation. Phoenix wins there. Or maybe Tempe had the bees and the light rail. I was never really sure where I was on this trip.

I had one shining moment of awareness when Don and I were trying to find an art museum in Phoenix. Not ten minutes after we walked by the library someone asked me where the library was. And I knew because it was gigantic and I could still see it. “It’s over there,” I said, pointing. That was great.

We went to Bisbee too. No moments of awareness there. At night that town is a challenge to your senses because nothing is flat and everything is very dark. It’s all stairs and hills and bars. I don’t think things were flat indoors either, but that could have been from the drinking.

We stayed at the Castle Rock hotel. We went there with friends of ours who are Castle Rock former employees. They had a lot of stories about paranormal activity going on (what with the place being so old and with so many miners dying in or nearby.) We booked The Geronimo Room and while I never experienced any paranormal activity, I have to say that it was pretty easy for the stoic Indian-themed decorations about the room to creep you out. Friday night me and Don left the bar before they did and decided to pile every loose object and free-standing Indian decoration on their bed hoping to make it look like paranormal activity. How I wish I would have taken a picture of that. Because if I had taken a picture of that, I would have remembered stacking the bed and then seeing the Indian statues in new locations the next day wouldn’t have frightened me.

The only pictures I took in Bisbee were of smoked yams:

and a dog that was mooching food at the bar:

And that’s what I know about Bisbee.

Octopus sighting
February 12, 2010, 3:24 pm
Filed under: Bloggidy Blog

Real quick here–Mermaidfairy on Etsy purchased Octopus on a cheese sandwich a week or two ago and already made something fantastic out of it. Can you believe it? Frankly, I am stunned at how well the octopus fits into the design. It makes an octopus on a cheese sandwich look completely normal. It was not my intention to stump designers with both the subject matter and the appearance of these beads but I kinda figured that’s what would happen.

So at least go look at this piece. It’s stunning! Or buy it–it’s only $85 bucks for crying out loud. If an octopus on a cheese sandwich is not your thing tell people the sandwich is some kind of  rare kelp raft or something. There might be sandwich colored kelp somewhere. It’s more feasible than a time-traveling octopus, anyway.

going southwest
February 3, 2010, 3:45 pm
Filed under: Bloggidy Blog

We’re fixing to get out of Madison tonight. We’re going to Tucson, Bisbee and Phoenix in that order. Actually, Chicago first then the rest. Actually, Chicago first, then the lounge of whatever place we’re staying, then the rest.  I haven’t packed yet. Dammit.

While we’re gone this friend of ours, Ben,  is going to put a black and white checkerboard linoleum floor in our kitchen. Yes, there is wood floor beneath the present layer of 40 year old linoleum and no, we’re not going to refinish it. We’re just going to put another layer on and leave the wood floors underneath as a nice surprise for whoever gets the house after we die. Wood floor refinishing is for people who are excited about a nice-looking house. My goal is to have a kitchen floor that, during my Autumn years, will respond to cleaning and maybe look like a Tom Petty video.

So those are the things going on here. We’ll be in AZ from the 4th to the 11th. I think I’m just going to wander around the desert, maybe have a vision. I hear Bisbee is good for that. Wake up on the 11th and have a new floor. We’re bringing internets so most days we will be communicado with the Facebook and the whatever. I gotta go pack now.