Aardvark Art Glass

Who’s a good plant?
October 23, 2009, 4:03 pm
Filed under: Bloggidy Blog

Smokey is a good plant. He had about a week-long brush with death. Something buggy was visited upon him after I brought him inside. Always with the unintentional harm-doing. Animal, mineral, vegetable…lizard, hedgehog, tobacco plant…no one is immune. I gave him a bath and he’s doing better now. Got some new growth. So, in case anyone was wondering, my tobacco plant is ok for now.

In other news, East Johnson St. businesses are trying to lure children, and by extension their parents, into their respective venues with the promise of free candy on Halloween afternoon. For some reason, I am really down with this trick-or-treating idea. Brand loyalty can be instilled easily on impressionable, young minds. If, when they grow up, they don’t end up shopping here, maybe they’ll be less likely to damage my property. I doubt the event is going to be real successful on account of foot traffic being so minimal, but, despite that, I put myself in charge of making a poster advertising the event and spent a couple of hours scouring the web for unforgettable candy. Even if Halloween rolls by without anyone becoming unwittingly loyal to Aardvark, I believe my time has been well-spent because I have found the best candy ever:


Gummy roadkill. It’s even cooler in person. I ordered four more bags today because this first one I got is going to be gone before Halloween even gets here.


Meet Smokey
October 13, 2009, 3:12 pm
Filed under: Bloggidy Blog


I guess this is part of the garden round up. The tobacco part.

Last Spring all the Lost School smokers, I among them, were outside discussing how high the price of tobacco. At the same time, also on the porch, me and Don were trying to decide which plants would be in and out of the garden. Of course, the suggestion that we grow our own tobacco was met with favor. I pooh-pooed the idea because…look, that’s just not going to work. I’m not into growing plants that I have to research on the internet in order to know what to do with them. And I really don’t want any plants that aren’t pick-n-eat types. And frankly, I prefer tobacco that has all the accelerants and junk in it. It’s just better. End of story. Don’t want the added responsibility. No tobacco plants.

So anyway, a month or so later, Don brought home 4 or 5  tobacco plants. The tires were at critical mass so he planted them here and there around the yard.  Our grass got super long in some places so we don’t know for sure what happened to all them. We’re pretty sure one plant got mowed over and we know we stuck another in a planter (Smokey). Then there are two other robust-looking plants in odd parts of the yard that look a lot like tobacco. The thing about those plants is, our next door neighbor claims that a Google search diagnosed them as weeds. He apparently is blessed with a natural curiosity about plants that grow in or near his yard, probably because he lives next door to Clusterfuck Gardens and who knows what the heck is going to crawl over the property line next. So that was handy. No one plants weeds on purpose so no one’s really responsible for harvesting them. I really try to utilize plants that I bring into the world  but I feel no connection to the tobacco.

That being said, last night I made Don haul in Smokey and his quarter barrel planter. Smokey is pretty puny and I like the underdog or “thing that will probably die soon”. Can’t really help the “weeds” so much. Now I have two things to take care of–a tobacco plant and a kombucha fungus.  What a fun and successful winter growing season this is going to be. Hopefully, Smokey will make a good house plant–if the smokers can keep their mitts off of him.

October 7, 2009, 11:21 pm
Filed under: Bloggidy Blog

Quiet, please! The kombucha, it is sleeping!


Do all of you know what kombucha is? It’s tea that gets its whammy from this big pad of fungus that grows on top of it. Supposed to be good for you. I can’t remember all the health effects but I know it helps you poop so I’m all for that. I got a hunk of the fungus about 6 weeks ago from the Aaron/Erika/Missy family kombucha fungus farm that they house in their refrigerator. Now I’m making my own. It is very exciting! Together we can watch the fungus pad unfold and produce a second fungus pad that I can use to make more tea or give to a friend. Indoor amusement!

If you’ve ever tasted kombucha you might be wondering why I want a big jar of it right under my desk. Well, the one time I tasted it I liked it a lot. Yes. That is the truth. I know it’s supposed to taste like feet but I thought the stuff Missy made was good. And my fungus is a relative of the delicious fungus that made the tea that I liked. So it’s all perfectly normal.

Did I ever tell you that I have a taste bud anomaly? I think I do. It’s not that I can’t taste vinegar–I can taste it but unlike most people who dislike it, vinegar tastes good to me. Like, I can’t tell when wine is bad. Also, I really liked that batch of Kombucha even though Missy said it was vinegary and not all that great. So, if I just drink down this batch of kombucha without running it by someone who can tell me if it’s good or not first, I could get really sick. Doesn’t this sound like something you’ll want to follow? I can’t wait to see how it all turns out. We’ll know in two weeks!

a little disappointing
October 6, 2009, 11:52 pm
Filed under: Bloggidy Blog

I told this story to Don yesterday:

So, I’m walking down Dayton St. on Sunday, on my way to the shop and I see this squirrel with its head in an empty plastic peanut butter jar.  I stopped and took out my camera just as the squirrel pulled his head out, seized the jar in his jaws and tried to climb up a tree, which was even better. By the time the camera was on, however, the squirrel had dropped the jar and skittered away. So that was a bummer but, no big deal. I never get my heart set on successfully photographing squirrels, what with them being so squirrely and all.

Anyway, then, not a minute later, still on Dayton St., the Wienermobile (colorful, phallic-shaped mode of transportation used by the Oscar Mayer Co.) came whizzing by:


The squirrel episode left me clutching the camera so I was able to whip it out right away. I thought this picture was as good or better than a squirrel. Wienermobiles are like Yeti’s or Indigo Buntings–usually you just see them out of the corner of your eye and then they zoom away, leaving you confused and bereft of cocktail party material, as you can’t be sure that you saw anything at all. But there on my camera was a picture of a moving wienermobile. I felt so clever. Like I should call the paper and tell them to hold the presses or something.

Of course Wienermobiles, being famous  and all, unlike Yetis and Indigo Buntings, which are also famous but not usually still, frequently park and pose for pictures. So, around here, everyone’s got a Wienermobile picture and no one finds a photo of a moving one especially novel, even though they are. I should have realized this but, to me, this was quite possibily the most novel and serendipitous and important photo I’ve ever taken (perhaps because I believe that sightings of moving Wienermobiles, like sightings of groundhogs or robins, are harbingers of change. And wouldn’t it be a good idea to know when that’s supposed to happen…so you could get out your winter coat…or hide in the basement…or sell all your stock…or whatever.)

Anyhoo, my enthusiasm for the Wienermobile picture was not shared by Don, who after hearing my warm-up story, was all tasted up to see a squirrel picture and not much interested at all in seeing a picture of a Wienermobile. After, might I add, all my hard work taking pictures for his amusement. So I guess that’s what I want you to take away from this insightful little essay: If you have a story about two separate, interesting events and photographic evidence of only one of the events and, apparently, it’s not the more interesting of the two, don’t even bring up the story. Because your audience be disappointed that they didn’t get to see a squirrel and you will be angry with them for not sharing your interest in random Wienermobile sightings. God! At least you’ll get a blog out of it.