Aardvark Art Glass

Hard Time For Possums in Trempealeau
September 23, 2009, 10:11 am
Filed under: Bloggidy Blog


This last weekend me and Don went to Trempealeau (near La Crosse, up nort, near Minnesota, by the Mississippi) to bike around where it’s pretty. We also stopped at an antique shop in La Crosse and picked up this nifty giant owl lamp. Unless you see it in person, you can’t really appreciate the scale of this thing. The whole thing is about 30″ tall. And it was only $25.00. Between the mechanical bat hanging from the ceiling fan and this we probably won’t have any more crow issues in the living room. So, woot for us.

Earlier in the trip, when we were driving about looking for a room at an inn around Trempealeau and the neighboring areas, we noticed a lot of road kill resting on the shoulders of the highway. That’s when Don gave me the title for this blog. It is most lyrical if you say it in Bob Dylan voice. Do I need to tell you to use Bob Dylan voice when talking about hard times in  towns with rhythmic names? I thought not.

Here’s a picture of a wee turtle that was almost bike-trail-kill:


Isn’t he cunning? I understand that you shouldn’t pick up snapping turtles because the mother turtle will push them out of her lofty nest if the turtles come back smelling like people. Also, they bite hard. But this one was really cold and sluggish and his mouth was tiny and ineffectual. About an hour later, in the same spot on the return trip, we saw a turtle that looked just like this one but with two important differences:  it was flat and it was no longer alive. It was probably not the same one. Nothing bad is ever going to happen to Ol’ Lucky, as I like to call him.

Here’s a picture of another tiny turtle Don found on his side of the path:


 Doesn’t he have a long, beautiful tail? This guy was loaded for bear when I picked him up to move him off the path. Even though he was smaller than a quarter, it freaked me out how lively he was. His name is Ol’ Kicky. He’s a strong little bugger. Hope he’s ok, too.

So, what else we got? Here’s a picture of the view from atop a bluff somewhere in Perrot State Park:


That was a nifty spot. Couldn’t stay long because it was getting dark and we didn’t want to get eaten by creatures or, more likely, fall and roll ass over tea kettle all the way back to the ranger’s station.

Lasty but not leasty, here is a picture from a port-a-potty that we ran into on a bike ride:


First of all, aardvark snouts are short. Second, even if they were long enough, they wouldn’t use them to suck sewage out of a portable toilet, which, I believe, is the conclusion toward which A-Aardvark Pumping is reaching. That’s just gross. People who use the aardvark in their logo should respect the aardvark, at least a little.

That was the trip that was. I know I have to get back to the garden thing. I’ll do that someday. All my banal observations seem to be channeled elsewhere…not sure where. Usually Facebook sucks them up but I haven’t been on there much either. It’s a mystery.


Garden round-up
September 4, 2009, 7:50 am
Filed under: Bloggidy Blog

Fall is coming now and I bet you’re all wondering how went our dainty tractor tire garden. If you can think back to…May? I don’t know. It was ago, whenever that ‘Deadliest Warrior’  show was on. Anyway, due to garden space constraints and just plain ignorance, back then I was taken with a plant battle scenario wherein I would plant two different plants in each tire and watch them fight it out. I understand now that for good reason such planting isn’t common garden practice. More than once I really hoped that the neighbors weren’t paying attention to what was going on.

We  ended up mixing beets, radishes, strawberries, various flowers, tobacco, herbs, peas, beans, lettuce, spinich, several varieties of tomatoes and a mystery green which I ate but had difficulty swallowing. Some things grew into what they were supposed to grow into and some died. Some just acted funny and took up space. Because I have a good picture of it, I’m going to start out with the most spectacular tire-the pea/bean tire.


There’s a couple of things about this growth that are kinda fucked-up. First off, I planted WAY too many beans and peas in this tire. Second, rather than giving them a little trellis up which to grow, we made a kind of maypole structure with strings coming off of a central post. We thought it would look like a nice green tee-pee, which it did at first when the peas came up. But then the fifty or so bean plants happened and they engulfed the weak, worthless peas. Worthless and ineffectual! I got maybe five pea pods before they succumbed to the mighty bean. The bean growth is now a good three feet above the top of our pole and the Pea vs. Bean battle is now becoming Bean vs. The Neighbor’s Lilac Tree, or “nature’s trellis” as it has come to be known. The green beans have ripened just this past week and there’s an awful lot of them. Me and Lucy the iguana eat them every day. I try to be quiet when I’m picking them because I don’t want to answer a lot of questions about what’s happening to the neighbor’s tree. Hope the birds got out of there.

Here’s a picture of the mystery plant.


This was one of the plants my pal Jeanne gave us. Originally, she thought it was lettuce but then she recanted once it started to grow. I forgot all about this thing–it was totally covered by tomatoes. It’s not a root and it does not flower. It’s not poisonous and, unlike beans, it minds it’s own business staying the same all year. I guess it does look like a lettuce but those leaves have got some really sharp edges. It’s very shiny, too. Funny plant. I’m going to feed it to Lucy.

I don’t have a picture of the radish/beet/strawberry tire. It’s mostly strawberries now anyway. The original plan was to designate a “root” tire, which I did, but then some strawberry plants came along and they had to go somewhere. If you have had none of your own, it may interest you to know that radishes have a surprisingly high edible material to effort expended ratio. Probably the highest of any plant we planted. Unfortunately, they’re radishes, so you’re not exactly jumping up and down when they start producing. Nor do people jump up and down at the prospect of free radishes. But they mature quickly and they’re good for you. I ate them and Lucy liked the greens, so that was a success.

Beets, not so much. They were plagued by something right off the bat. I got enormous greens from them but only one beet that was larger than a small super ball. I waited all summer for that one beet. So, thumbs down for beets.

Strawberries will multiply with no assistance from anyone. We started with two tiny plants in June and now the whole tire and some of the ground around it is covered with plants. And did you know they come back on their own each year? And that you get more delicious berries each year? Based on the fact that everyone does not have strawberries all over their yard, I assume that that is not common knowledge.

This is getting long and I have stuff to do. I’m going to have to finish this up later. I’ll be back with tomatoes, lettuce and tobacco.