Aardvark Art Glass

It’s great to be regular

I’ve been impulse buying a lot of neat-o little things on Etsy lately. I got this pendant, which I think is hilarious, from Polyfusia’s shop. It is great to be regular! And how! Polyfusia is a really cool gal named Tamara who lives in faraway Washington. Not only did she share with me her technique for making these but she’s going to hook me up with the proper media so I can fuse my own designs. It’s a hell of a lot easier than reverse painting, I tell you what.

This pendant is an excellent segue into the next topic I want to address: colon cleansing in general and an infomercial about colon cleansing in particular. Don and I wandered across one the other day and it was so astonishing in it’s lack of credibility that it made a beautiful TV moment. I would like to preface this by saying that I was ignoring both the product being hawked and what the host was saying about it because I really don’t believe that there is any extraneous, toxic business (beyond that which we see every day) stuck up in your colon that contributes to health problems. I have reasonably intelligent friends who have had procedures involving vacuums and what not done and will testify to the presence of the toxic matter, which is fine for them. I do believe that anyone can benefit from an enima and that people should do that just as much or as little as they want. Let’s just not get carried away with what’s actually going on here.

But back to the infomercial and what made it so incredibly hilarious. There were two guys on it talking about these herbal supplements that expedite the cleansing of a given colon. One of the guys was older and had a certain C. Everett Koop quality about him. He seemed pretty credible. But the main guy, the guy who developed the supplements, looked enough like John Waters to be really distracting. No one, including John Waters, is born looking like John Waters–that’s a look you have to cultivate, starting with a pencil thin moustache. Not sure at what point in evolution this occurred but that’s one of those facial details to which human beings have been hard wired to associate with shiftiness, especially when combined with the slicked back hair and the gaunt appearance. C. Everett Koop guy came to work dressed normal. He wasn’t in the driver’s seat but you’d think he could have mentioned something.

 (Nothing against Mr. Waters, of course. I think his look works well for a zany and kind of sick movie director and for the sake of diversity I’m glad he’s on the planet. I just don’t see his face on bottles of salad dressing, or anything else that you’re supposed to ingest. )

Do you think it was a coincidence that the colon cleansing guy looked a lot like a famous person with more than a passing famaliarity with fecal matter? Maybe this will spark provocative discussion.


4 Comments so far
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I think this is a topic we should all explore more thoroughly…if I can quit laughing my butt off long enough to do so.

Comment by Debbie

It’s the subtle reference to “waters” that makes this so good. Meaning funny.

Comment by phil

Hee hee hee. Thanks you guys! Laughing helps keep you regular.

Comment by cathylybarger

Oh my.
…Oh my.

Colon cleansing is an entertaining topic all on its own (I most recently read a lovely blurb on it in the classic literature piece, “Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You’d Only Ask Your Doctor After Your Third Martini”), but the fact that the colonic irrigation product was backed by John-Waters-eque fellow is just hilarious.

Perhaps he’ll be in future commercials.
Perhaps they’ll begin selling enemas with Divine’s face on them.

Oh, this just tickled me pink.

Comment by Amanda

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