Aardvark Art Glass

As Seen On TV
January 7, 2008, 1:10 pm
Filed under: Bloggidy Blog | Tags: , ,

free your mind

I’ve been walking past this electrical box in my neighbor’s yard for 2 1/2 years and I never recognized it as being an object in my reality until someone put this sticker on it. I asked Don if they just put the box in and he said no it’s been there all along. That’s kind of spooky. I wonder what else I’m not seeing.

I stayed up until all hours watching cooking shows ’cause I couldn’t get to sleep last night. Those shows are filmed in a very interesting manner these days. They shoot the food super-duper close up so it looks like a colorful landscape. It’s very engaging to look at even if you have no plans for cooking food of your own.  Have they always been filmed like that or am I just noticing that now that I’ve read the sticker on the box and my mind is free? I just don’t know…

But I digress…what I really wanted to talk about is a  commercial that I saw during the Iron Chef. For some reason things that I see on late night commercials are starting to look good to me. I think this tendency is both genetically and age related. My father’s resistance to the allure of “As seen on TV” products is almost zero. That was not always the case with him. He’s in his late 60’s so I think I’ve got a while before I’m at that point.

Gah! I’m still digressing but I do want to tell you about the first ASOTV product that I bought just last week. It was that “Magic Putty” stuff. It’s an epoxy in putty form that you mix up by kneading it with your fingers. To me sounded a lot like JB Weld Steel glue I’m always using except it sets up faster. I’ve been wanting something like that for a long time, especially for gluing knobs. (In theory you could use it to make threads inside a knob to screw your rod into. How great would that be? Only the greatest thing ever!) Anyway, I did not end up phoning in my credit card–I just googled ‘Epoxy putty’ on the google and found someone selling it (epoxygator.com). So I didn’t get the super bonus deal that was advertised but I did get some putty to try and it is FANTASTIC. I repaired a cast bronze Tiffany reproduction lamp base with it in about five minutes. And now I feel like I’m teetering at the top of a slippery slope because ASOTV products don’t seem quite as annoying as they once did.

So, back to the late night cooking show commercials. I didn’t see my beloved putty last night because most of the ads are For The Ladies. Hair removal, life insurance and health aids mostly. One ad that really appealed to me was for these pads that remove toxins (like lead and cellulite–the inclusion of cellulite on the list of heavy metals is how you know this is For The Ladies) from your body while you sleep if you wear them taped to the souls of your feet.  People’s feet, the commercial explained, are like a tree’s roots except instead of absorbing nutrients they seep out toxins. While you sleep. If you are wearing these pads. The pads turn black when they’re full. Even though they are full of heavy metals it’s ok to throw them out with your regular garbage. Over the course of several nights the pads should turn less and less black as your body detoxifies. A lifetime supply is offered for a low price though I suppose much of the fun of using the product ends when the pads stop turning black.

Now I want some of these pads! I probably absorbed a bunch of stuff when I was kneading that putty. I just want to see what they look like and maybe smell them. If I’m going to make believe that I am detoxifying my body I would rather do it with foot pads than fasting and enemas. Maybe my dad will buy some for me. Just have to get him watching the right channel.


7 Comments so far
Leave a comment

….can’t talk now….
….too busy laughing…
….now I gotta change my pants…

Comment by sp

man, living in your brain right now is like a vacation to California! How cool! I want everything you want, too!

Comment by jean

Jean- I was thinking about your QVC addiction when I wrote that.If you ever do get a lifetime supply of those foot things send some my way.

sp- Yes. Change your pants.

Comment by cathylybarger

Oh Please, if you try the foot thingies let me know how they work! I just wonder what’s in them that is supposed to draw out the poisons. Makes you want to say Hmmmmmmmm….

And thanks for the tip on the Majic Putty. I’ve been wondering.

Comment by Lynda

The way I see it, we only need to find one person who bought these to come foreward and then we can all have free pads. You get a lifetime supply, after all. And we all like to share things, don’t we? Maybe anonymously? Personally, I’m not real interested in ordering such things…especially during the year of curbing your inner dumbass. I think that when you order stuff like that your cc info and address go into a special file that will bite you in the ass later on.

Re: putty. It has come to my attention that JB Weld is producing their own brand of putty epoxy called JB Stick Weld. It costs less than $4.oo and you can get it in hardware stores. Don bought me some because he knows how I loves me some putty epoxy. I haven’t used it yet but I’m sure it works great if it’s JB Weld.

Comment by cathylybarger

Epoxy putty … does this stuff pick up comics from newspapers like Silly Putty does?
If so, make a bead or whatever, stick it on a comic — one worth it — and a whole new way to violate copyright!

I like the foot pad things for detoxifying. “Foot pad” being an old slang for thief.

(I should just change my name to Oguk — that’s where my fingers land on the keypad.)

Comment by phil

Epoxy putty may be the antithesis of silly putty. It is very serious. I’ll give the comic thing a whirl anyway, just in case.

Maybe we can give “Oguk” a last name and hook him up with a credit card so he can get us some foot pads without fear of being put on a bunch of lists.

Comment by cathylybarger

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