Me and JC and Harold went to Bryce Canyon maybe three days into the trip. This was a high point for me as I’ve never been to the Grand Canyon or, for that matter, any other canyon-themed tourist attraction before. Plus, we went on a day when it was 95 degrees in Monroe though only 75 with very strong winds at the canyon. Had we waited another day there would have been a snowstorm at Bryce. So we felt smart. We stopped off at one of the first trails we could find to go out and hike around. I think it was Rainbow Point. (This figures in later because me and JC left beads somewhere aolng the upper rim trail in that area. I guess it’s probably illegal to leave anything in the canyon so, sorry, earth. Hopefully someone will be by to pick those up.)
So while you’re hiking and wheezing along the rim at about 8900ft (there was snow there!) you can look down on stuff like this. It’s all very spectacular and neat-o. Somewhere along the line, pretty early in the game, I became aware that being right at the edge of the unfenced scenic overlooks was starting to freak me out a little. But the trails were made for big, dumb uncoordinated tourists like myself so, what was I worrying about? So I’m still wandering down the path but the whole height thing is starting to make me feel a little (a lot) panicky. And that’s nuts because I’m not afraid of heights. So right about now I’m thinking seroiusly ”All I have to do is stay away from the edge of the trail. Edges are what are freaking me out. Just stay away from edges and stick to the trees and don’t look down at shit.” Right at this point it was time to walk across this ridge which is, like, a hill with nothing on either side but openness and slopes that go way, way, way down. The flat, path part across the top of it is about two to sometimes four feet wide, like a sidewalk in parts. But no trees or anything on either side. Were you to actually fall down or get blown over, most likely you’d slide about ten feet, perhaps leaving a trail of urine in your wake, before stopping. I have a picture of the ridge from far away. I took it after we hiked maybe two miles down:
Most of the path wound down into the trees and stuff. There was just that one section that was out in the open. It probably wasn’t even all that scary a thing to walk on but people, had I not been suffering from traveler’s constipation I would have crapped my pants walking across that thing. The wind is super strong when you’re out in the open like that. I could not believe what an intense experience that was for me and my new found fear of heights or canyons or ridges or wind or whatever the hell I had ailing me was. And the thing was, I had to walk over it again on the way back. So that was nightmarish to think about. Hanging onto JC’s back pack flap on the way back across made me feel a little better. Panic attacks really mix things up for you. I don’t think Ive ever had one that involved the fear of something real like heights. At least I know how to avoid that.
So that’s my canyon story! Later, I’ll let you know where we hid our beads in case you want to venture across the scary ridge and find them.
Filed under: Bloggidy Blog | Tags: cracker the hedgehog, disturbing dream, tara reid
I had a dream that Tara Reid killed my pet hedgehog, Cracker. This is not the first dream I’ve had about celeberties hurting my animals. Julia Roberts or someone broke the tail off my late iguana, Iggy, in another dream. Anyway, that was weird. Thought I’d share.
They are:
-Get a refill for thyroid meds that ran out in Utah
-Get torch up and running
-Get cord for camera back (left in Utah)
-Pay bills
With the exception of the camera cord I’ve completed all of these tasks but only with an unusually high, nay, an almost unbelievable level of difficulty. I mean, it’s Wednesday evening and all I’ve gotten done this week are those three things which don’t usually take days to do. What the hell is going on???? To escape whatever weird energy sucking zone I’m in I’m taking tomorrow off and going over to Erika’s so we can work on a collaborative sculpture to donate to The Eugene Glass School’s art auction. (Erika’s going to weld up some junk I found in a field in Utah into some kind of a bead stand.) Hopefully by Friday I’ll be up and working and taking pictures and everything will be back to normal.
Filed under: Bloggidy Blog | Tags: alcohol metabolization, ant hills, bryce canyon, canyons, monroe utah, mountains, the moon, things that are purty
The altitude of Monroe Utah is about 5000ft. Madison is lower than that. Way. Bryce Canyon, the subject of the photo, is much higher than that (about 8-9000ft) which is why I used it as an example of highness. Though not as elevated as some places, while in Monroe I noticed some distinct differences in how the human body functions at altitude. Here they are:
At altitude:
Contrary to urban myths, you body metabolizes alcohol much faster. Had I known this in advance I would have brought a breathalyzer so I could prove it scientifically. For real though, it takes longer to become inebriated and if you get any sleep at all you are likely to wake up hangover free. Don’t argue with me about this. This is one thing that I know more about than you do.
Things smell better. Not like roadkill or body odor, but perfumey things like hand lotion and soap. They smell really, really great. Then again, JC lives right next door to a woman who’s trailer is home to dozens of feral cats, so maybe it was just in comparison.
Finger and toenails grow faster. Sure seemed like it to me. My toenails were LONG at the end of the week. I’m not sure because I don’t have a clipping gnome following me around, BUT, I don’t think I’m subconsciously clipping them and forgetting about it later. Fingernails, I kept track of them because I remember chewing them off specifically so the jury is still out on that. JC says her hair is growing faster. I’m choosing to believe her because that syncs with my toenail theory.
The moon is brighter. This makes sense since we’re a mile closer to it. A brighter moon I have not seen. Didn’t even need a flashlight if the moon was out and we were in the middle of BF Nowhere. Or maybe it was brighter because we were away from the city in BF Nowhere? Don’t know. It sure was purty.
Also at altitude, cookies cook funny even when you follow the high altitude instructions. Hair and bead release dry super fast, though that’s probably more a function of being in the desert than being at altitude. But the fact that they dry fast leaves you more time to ponder the questions that inevitably arise when you live at altitude. Yep. That’s about all I can remember on that topic.
Hey! I’m back from Utah. I got a ton of beads made and I hiked and I soaked and I watched weird Utah television and made lawn decorations out of tumbleweeds. I didn’t see any UFO’s or snakes but I did find a big bone and some neat-o scrap metal. I hung out with JC and Harold Cooney and Mystic Mike (guy who owns the hot springs–he sells on Ebay too) and I met a lot of friendly dogs and friendly tourists. A very busy, very very fun week, I tell you what.
So today I’ve got to empty my camera and get some of my beads up on Etsy. Today is also Erika’s birthday so it’s possible that I won’t get any of that done until tommorrow. Either way I’m too busy to blog right now but I’ve got a lot of pictures and a lot of stuff written that I’ll be putting up shortly. In the meantime, enjoy the sign that was posted by the hot spring tubs. Some of those rules are enforced more than others.
Filed under: Bloggidy Blog | Tags: bras, dr. evermore, forevertron, lucy the iguana, monroe utah, mythic obsession
Me and Lucy had a good run around the store in anticipation of my going away for a week. I’ve long thought that that shelf under the circuit breaker panel would be a nice spot for her. It’s like a little cupboard with doors that close so if you wanted to you could close or open them and play peek-a-boo with the lizard. Lucy may have sensed an impending round of peek-a-boo or some other horror and jumped off the shelf right after I took the picture.
So! I guess I’m going to start making noises like I’m leaving because I will be on Saturday morning. Going to Utah to hang out with JC Herrell and make beads and look at big rocks and stuff. Plane ticket to Salt Lake City was only $340. That’s like 2400 miles round trip. Seems like a deal in light of the gas situation. Know what I want to do during my layover in Minneapolis? Shop for a bra. That’s something I always put off because pretty much anything in the world is more entertaining or important or pressing than new bra shopping. Because, really, who gives a shit about your delicates? You can always go for another day or week with the old one. Sitting in an airport is actually the only activity that I can think of that makes shopping for a bra seem worthwhile in comparison. And Minneapolis airport is huge. It’s a mall. There’s got to be someone selling underwear somewhere.
Since I don’t have a trained shipping department anything purchased from the Etsy store on or after Friday, May 16 will be shipped some time after I get back on Friday, May 23rd. As a reminder I’ll leave a little announcement in the store announcements section of the Etsy store. Due to limited internet access in Utah, the Daily Fortune will be discontinued for the duration of my stay. Don’t bust out crying now.
In other news…an eagerly awaited publication about my pal Erika’s mentor, Doc Evermore, has been released. “A Mythic Obsession: The World of Dr. Evermore“ is the title. We’ve admired Doc for a while– Me and Don were married in ‘02 on the Forevertron (the sculpture that’s on the cover of the book) because Doc’s sculpture garden is one of our favorite places. He is quite an interesting man and it’s about time someone wrote about him. I just ordered my copy today so I can’t review it yet but I’m sure it’s a good read. Erika is in it too!
Filed under: Bloggidy Blog | Tags: absolutely art, johnny depp movie, old timey cars, shoes in trees
With the Etsy store being so busy I’ve scarcely had time to clown around. I also haven’t been sitting around drinking absinthe and thinking up stuff to blog about. Sometimes that’s where the trillion dollar ideas come from. Not to get off track or anything ,but, as I’m writing this I’m watching The Colbert Report on tv. Out of the corner of my eye and I just saw a Nutri Systems commericial and noticed that Larry the Cable Guy is now one of their spokespeople. That’s messed up.
Anyway, as I was saying, not a lot of blog ideas right now. Maybe I’ll think of something as I explain these photos.
Erika came over to the shop on Monday morning ’cause she wanted to gawk at the Johnny Depp movie people who were up filming around the capitol building. I had to go to Walgreens on the square anyway to buy tampons and nicotine gum so I went along. Me and Erika kind of have this thing–since we’re the only self-employed people we know if one of us gets an idea to do something the other has to go along…because we can. No matter how your business is doing you always have to revel in the fact that, since you have no peckerhead boss, you can blow off work at almost any time with very few consequences. Self-employment can be a real grind sometimes. If you don’t take advantage of that one super perk you might as well hang it up.
The square looked about the same save for the presence of a lot of modern day police officers and old timey cars.
There were guys in fedoras all over the place too…waiting for a cue or something. Only one dame as far as I could see.
Hopefully they’ll CGI out the No Parking sign and the ugly garbage can.
Moving right along…here is a picture of a wound on Erika’s head:
She received the injury while working on a metal sign for a local gallery called Absolutely Art. As she ground on the letter “R” in art the Stoughton High School marching band marched by the forge where she was working. (Stoughton is a fairly small town with, apparently, only so many places to march.) The band distracted her and she lost control of the grinder wanging herself in the forehead. No lasting effects from the accident unless you count that unnatural fascination she has with that metal chicken.
Do people tie shoes together and huck them up into trees where you live?
They do that here a lot, though, this is definitely the greatest number of shoes I’ve seen in a single tree. Folks also like to toss them up so the pairs dangle from power lines. Believe it or not, I’ve spoken to several people who have formed theories that attach significance to this behavior-that the shoes serve as markers for houses where drug activity is going on–that sort of thing. I just think that the kids today have too many shoes. Sometimes the simplest theory is the most likely.
Filed under: Bloggidy Blog
Here is the first thing I bought from an Etsy store. Don’t you wish it was yours? Ha! Mine mine mine! I’ve been carrying my carrot around ever since it arrived the other day. It is my new sculpey friend. Carrot tagged along with Erika, Missy and myself last evening for Gallery Night. I wanted to take pictures of it at various venues but we only stopped at one place, Absolutely Art. Absolutely Art is a brick and mortar version of Etsy. (Erika had to drop off some work there. Also, they seemed to have the most wine.) Photo opportunities weren’t jumping out at me last night though I did get a picture of Carrot with Copper Jesus at home.
Jesus is wearing a button from the Creation Museum. He loves all the vegetables.
Carrot, by the way, came from an Etsy store called Tiny Terror Designs. The gal who runs TTD, Lisa, is quite a hoot. She has school, children and a job so sculpey creature making is kind of a side thing where there is little time for a side thing. What she has in stock is definitely worth looking at and buying. I’m trying to goad her into making jewelry out of these guys because I know I’m going to leave carrot behind somewhere if it’s not attached to my body. You won’t want to know me if something happens to Carrot.
